LIFE>sucks

I am so tired with this life of mine… I just wana reach out for a hand to help me out of this fucking dump…. Maybe I just done with trying… maybe I want to turn my eyes away… jump from this track of mine… Follow the pack of minds… Not fight through this slump of mine…. I imagine it be like in a dark endless hole… not being able to see forward or back… maybe I should just end this singlized path of mine…. I just starting to get this position im in… Coming to grips with this reality of mine… Finally realizing it be playing this heart of mine… this mind of mine… Just getting fucked when I think I reached it… Ever get in a fight, it be like I the loser and always getting shoved back to the ground… Head down…. Not wanting to look up for fear of eye contact…. I be so Fucking tired of this hell of mine… People look at me… they see a happy ridden boy of 15… not the joy empty shell of mine…. I know other peoples pain because through it all I see my fucking own… Done being me, done with this life… I kept trying to reach out… but the only hand I found was my own…. Im done trying to be someone else… done being myself…. It be time to change the guy I be… should I be like other guys… a dumbass mother fucker…. Or should I be a sweet heart…. Fag or lover…. Hater or a actor… everything is such a intense kind of gloomy… but I know what its to be… I’ll pick myself back up… and continue with the F*** life of mine… and jump up on that trial of mine and continue on with how I be….

Lying awake is just as sad as dreaming

I lie awake just dreaming about you… the hands behind my head lonely, my eyes searching the ceiling wishing that you where here… I watch the sunset, but it isn’t the same with out you there to hold me hand… I will turn over in bed… but that don’t help… for it reminds me… that’s what you did to me…. I watch the ocean crash against the shore… but that just makes me sad, for it reminds me how i asked you out on that same beach… I like awake just thinking about you… Wishing those hands, which I held, to catch this tear… It takes two to whisper I love you.. but only one have it crash around your ears…. I wished I don’t feel so alone… as many times I say I don’t feel alone… I know… that really I just be thinking of you… I lay in bed drifting to sleep dreaming about you… hoping that I could just move on but I really know I will never forget that darling who held my empty hand… I am asleep now just dreaming about you and in that dream where back together like its meant to be…. Good morning little angel

I know...

I know….. every time I wake up… I think of your smile… I know when ever I fall asleep I think that the thought you be thousand of miles away… But listen to your heart… before you tell me goodbye… I look into those eyes miles away… though I still can lose myself in them…. I wonder… when those miles don’t separate us… when you be a step away… how those eyes will effect me…. I wake up calling for you… but there be nothing you can do… I know why… for we be thousand of miles apart… but in this mind of mine… I look into those eyes as if they be ten feet apart… I know we might have others… but listen to our heart… and nothing will we can do… for they be fluttering the same beat…. Listen to these hearts of ours…. Bam bam they be going…. Ten feet apart or a thousand they still go BAM BAM…. So with these others just listen to that heart of ours..

I thought I told you… im just tiny bit crazy…

I thought I told you… im just tiny bit crazy… just bouncing off these walls… but it aight because I love you… I got money… I got the cars…. But in side this head of mine I be just a aight crazy… flashing lights trip me like a lighting star, tomorrow you’ll see me falling… the next day walking tall and proud… like the Eiffel tower in the fancy world of mine…. Im a pimp… I don’t needa another chick… but I keep looking.. I grovel on the ground for this chick of mine… I just met her… she be a lighting star…. In the Hollywood car of hers…. Tomorrow she be mine… that night she’ll be mine… I thought I told you… I be a crazy motha fucka… but it aight… for I told you… tomorrow you’ll be mind, tonight your mine and its all aight because I love you… Jump off a tower… crawl through this marsh brain of mine… with a thought of her in my mind… its like a spotlight on a angel… Its just the non-crazy bit of these walls…. Spell her name out… and It kinda sounds like Samii… bitch she be mine… im just a tiny bit crazy in the M*** fucking world of mine… for I be standing tall like the Eiffel tower one day… and the next I be a pebble in this world… I thought I told you…