Last night was just another… Crazy thing that…. Cant be taken back… but I know that… if I could… it would be like this… Yo baby… Im feeling down.. just listen to me… and let me tell… how this could be… I wont run from you… I will sprint back to you… I cant stay away… I know you feel the same… try this for a start… grab my hand.. Trust me for just 2 minutes and let me spin you around in my heart and mind… It be kinda like this… I was hurting… I was just kinda scared… my pants where down and I was starting something new… you happen to be there… and you where my closest friend I got right now… Shhh.. Hold my hand.. and stare into my eyes and see if there be any funny shit… lets just start new.. and you will see… that I aint that bad…. It kinda crazy how this is… I know you are like me in some ways… you know that this isn’t just my story…it be ours all the way… dear miss sophie… you aint mine… but these feelings are shared…. Beyond the stars that are your eyes… they are felt deep down… you alone know how sad I am… you bring the sparkle to my eyes… and a smile to my lips…
Friday, August 21, 2009
old poetry
I turn around but find a stone.
I run to you, but find a tree.
I search for you and find nothing.
I dream about you but cant move.
I think about you my mind freezes.
I open my eyes.
I found you.
A rose.
In a world of death.
-------
My arms will fail to move
My legs feel like logs
In a daze
My heart feels like a bowling ball
It is missing something
You ______
It is missing you now…
--------
You remind me of a sunset
Quite and beautiful
You remind me of a rose
Sweet and pretty
You remind me of a tree
Strong, and patient
You remind me of a black hole
That is my heart after you left
--------------
I fight to control my love
But its like a wave
Beyond control
Of any one being
Impossible to stop
And forever
its beautiful beyond compare
my love for u is
like one of these waves…
-----------
Your eyes are the stars of my night
Your smile is the light of my day
Your laugh is the music to my ears
Your words are the wisdom to come
Your joy the happiness of my world
Your caring the spur of my love
But your blindness to my love
Is what will stop my heart
--------
Just know my heart is aching
Just know I wana hold you for eternity
I wana know your there for me
I pass by girls with out looking
For I know deep down they wont be good enough
As you are for me
Just know it hurts to see you so far
For I miss you tremoundsly
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My arms are dead
My brain stalls
My legs fail to move
My eyes are locked
My heart jumps
My stomach quenches
All
Because of a angel
You.
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When you talk to me…
I can’t think
I can’t talk
I can’t break your spell
You’re my other side
With out you
I am empty
Lost in this dark void
Of a world
--------
I have a angel
I wana hold my angel
I wana kiss my angel
I wana go out with my angel
I wana hold the smooth hands of my angel
I wana get to know the angel
I cry when I find she is outa my league
I feel empty with out my angel
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Myself
Lately… I Have been feeling down. Trying to get through to you… Just pick myself back up.. I been disking myself for.. these past years, but tomorrow.. im gona start new.. and try to show you.. how I am.. its kinda how I role now… Oh yeah, I been down for the past couple years.. its how I feel and hear.. I been acting like it’s the last year.. never cared.. never feared… Iv walked miles.. Im grown past my years… I might be 15 but its like iv lived my life over and over… iv tried to care.. but its not mine to feel… I may be down.. but I fear this might be my last year… not to care… my life is, a whole joke to others, its crazy how I am.. I might not tell you my life story.. but lets see if you can see how it is.. to just be me… I aint pretty.. I aint cool… but yet I look.. to these stars… but they are to far too reach.. this just might be corny.. but I hope you don’t care… iv walked miles.. in my mind.. its kinda crazy… im just starting to realize how much.. I just don’t care.. I been trying to reach you… to change how I am… I know it be you.. who cares so much about me… Stand in these shoes, and you will see… I aint crazy…. Im starting to think this just might be… far fetched and none caring… im just trying to tell… who will listen in this crazy world…. People be calling me sad.. people been calling weird… I know that It just might be true… for it be my calling…. It just don’t matter… This is how I role.. this is my beauty and fucking calling… You follow me around.. and say that, that isn’t mine… Yo hoe that isn’t your calling.. They be biting my… calling.. I didn’t ask for this… it just be mine to.. share and pass on through my heart and words…. Iv been told I been crazy.. but hey.. I know I been crazy and lost.. You know lately… Iv walked miles.. Im grown past my years… I might be 15 but its like iv lived my life over and over… iv tried to care… But no one hears… My words are like air.. they arnt heard.. They be up there… just not heard and not important enough for these people… I been trying to call to me and tell who I really truly am…. But maybe this aint be how its supposed to be.. maybe im just supposed to be.. like all these others… Just lay down.. and listen and do… I’ll trade these shoes in… and live this life… with no calling other then the worlds… Is that the truth of this crazy world… I been living this life as a joke… I been fucked over and need something to pull myself outa this hump… my heart has holes thrice over… my mind and soul.. been sent to the sky… and my being depressed to nothing in this… lovely existence of mine.. I heard that im sad and feeling down… just realized it be true.. maybe im so sad I be happy… damn maybe I should be a angel and devil.. for they rest in wat I thought be my own existence… its not mine I realize now it be just a… common place dream.. thought out to torment me.. It brings me close to these unearthly tears… im slowly losing my place in this world… If you look deep down inside this wilting heart.. you will see.. a beauty soul trying hard to reach out.. To my friends.. Stay strong… To my love.. I wont forget you… To my enemies.. I forgive you… My wrong doings.. im sorry to do that.. and world I love you… Stay true and Beautiful!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
My Little Jam
Yo girl… this is my little jam…. I want to open your eyes to my… I think you know what is right… deep down its just kinda like this…. You want to love someone… but it oh so hard… to come out and tell... yo I know it aint the same… but do you get… that if you wer here.. I would be holding you… oh oh.. so close… just lifting that lovely face to mine… oh where is the love? Where have my values of equality? Oh what that you just say? Where is the love? Oh oh.. my girl… I know deep down… it kinda just like this… one word.. one word… it came so sudden…. What I always tell you? That it kinda like this… you cry because no one cares… but really you know deep down… the world is twirling around that thing you have… its called girl… little love…. Im your big boy… just trying to open your eyes… and tilt that little head up… I see that tear rolling down..
You don’t know how bad I wana just reach up… and wipe that little tear… for it a tear in my universe…. Just as much at it on your cheek…. Its called little love… in a twirling world… I cant hold on… the more I try the more I fall down… I don’t ever see u coming back… to the…. I just wish that… when I set my head down to rest… that it be a dream… just to wake up… to open my own eyes….. why the world keep spinning…. Im so ready… just to… break down and cry… when I close my eyes… it kinda like this… have you ever wanted to tell someone deep down… that you… just l-l-l-love her… this world needs to stop spinning… it making me sick.. down to the bottom.. of my dead stricken heart…. For its what deep down… I wana just try and say… yo girl just open those eyes and let me tell you my pain… it has a little name… for it called little love… my show is over… my world is down to the last human being… you said you weren’t leaving… but I know… that when this world starts spinning…. I cant hold on… im keeping it real…. Im just trying to hold on… but that is when… I just realize… this is a dream… I wana just continue on.. holding you…. But this is a dream…. I wana tell you open those lovely blue eyes… and see that deep down… it was meant to be… I keep trying to understand….
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
My angel...
I met my Angel one afternoon
She is the one that I would die for
She is the one I would cry for
She is the one that I would get on my knee’s
And say will you marry me
She is my angel
My jaw drops when I see her
My heart skips when I feel her touch
My legs tremble when she says my name
Who else makes me feel this way
Answer is
No one
But u
My first song ever....
Girl just hold up listen to me a little
It my time to tell you how it is
I have you on my mind
All the time dreaming and wishing
you where in my arms
Laying next to me at night
I can go on, and on
Hold up girl
(chorus)
This is my time to tell you how I feel
You are my angel
The beauty in my life
I cant worry about our past
I hafta put this on the line
Because it is my time
Let me hear you say
What I know you wana say
Girl I know this might be hard
But I know you love me
Girl your voice is like quicksand
Just pulling me down
When I walk these lonely streets
I hear your voice, just pulling me down
Seeing you through that window
With another man
Is pulling me down
I know your not happy
I know I am your warrior
I wear the invisible armor for you
Taking the blows each time
Just because I know
That you love me deep down
(chorus)
This is my time to tell you how I feel
You are my angel
The beauty in my life
Now it is my time to tell you no more,
Its my time, my time
That you came to me
And I warped My arms around you
And pulled you close, your mine
I know you love me, but that
Is the past
Girl I will wear your armor
I will take those hits for you
I will fly to Jupiter and back for you
My love
You’re my girl
When I look at you I feel
Like your eyes are the stars of my night
Like your smile is the light of my day
Like your laugh is the music to my ears
Like your words are the wisdom to come
Like your joy the happiness of my world
Like your caring the spur of my love
(chorus)
This is my time to tell you how I feel
You are my angel
The beauty in my life
Babe I love you
I know you love me
Just emit it
I will not wait for ever
Nevertheless, this is your time and mine